Dashing Through My Day

"Are you okay?"  "You need to sit down and rest."  "I'm worried about you."  I am hearing these comments more and more.  Know why?  Because I am literally DASHING THROUGH MY DAY! Where is all this boundless energy coming from?  Well, I bet you can see where I'm going with this.

Let me tell you what a typical day used to be like for me.  Upon waking, I would continue to lie in bed like a big slug, unwilling (both physically & mentally) to face the day ahead.  Drag myself up, make coffee - instant - because I didn't have the will or the energy or the patience to set up the coffee maker and wait.  Put on my fuzzy robe, curl up in my fuzzy chair, blink my fuzzy eyes stupidly over my coffee, and pray that soon my fuzzy brain would wake up.  And it would take at least an hour for me to come the point that I could have a coherent thought.  Don't try to talk to me ...talk to the hand!  EVERY morning was so hard to face and it took SUCH a long time for me to be able to face it.  I LOVED Saturdays, not for the right reasons, though.  I loved Saturday because it was the one day where I could just lay there, sleep late, and not have to face it.

I have been doing some type of BB exercise program for the past seven months.  At 225.5 lbs, I began doing Power 90, then Power 90 Master Series, and now P90X.  I am now at 168 lbs. With P90X, I have also begun taking Activit, Shakeology, and Results & Recovery drink - I've been on them for one week.  In the past, I have taken so-called miracle supplements that NEVER lived up to their name.  Time wasted, money down the drain. By the end of this week, my mornings have UTTERLY changed.

Today, SATURDAY, no less ... I woke up before my alarm went off.  My brain already buzzing with great big Saturday plans. Coffee? Didn't need it. Put my robe on and walked the dog (my husband always walks the dog, 'cause I'm still in bed).  I am actually looking forward to attacking my P90x workout in just a few minutes.  I am quite literally ready to bound up and bring it! I find myself looking forward to this day with an incredible sense of anticipation. instead of wasting it in bed or in my fuzzy chair, I am sitting here mulling over this glorious thought ... "How much fun can I pack into this one day?" With all this incredible new energy ... the possibilities are mind-boggling! 

P90X/Day6 

Stressbustin'

Ever heard that expression, "hit the ground running?" Sure, you have. Today was one of those days. An early appointment, so early there was no way to get my P90X in first - and I ALWAYS make it happen first. Not today. I slept through my alarm, didn't have time for coffee (whoopsie - it's supposed to be green tea now, right?), couldn't catch the dog for the vet appointment (how do they know?), and then received an unexpected semi-emergency e-mail. I could feel the stress building and all that nasty cortisol begin filling my cells & bloodstream (or whatever it is that cortisol does to one). I admit ... a little panic was starting to set in.

Okay, okay ... first things first - answer the email, shift the schedule a bit, get the dog to the vet, come back home, pop the P90X dvd in. Urgh! Do I really have time for this today? And of course, I remembered my promise to myself - I am COMMITTED to this program for 90 days. It's my PRIORITY. Yes the day will bring many things that MUST be done, but must they really be done first? I had no idea what was Tony Horton was gonna have me doing today, so I looked at the P90X Lean schedule and here's what I saw ... YOGA X.  

First thing Tony said that really sunk in was "clear your mind" and something along the lines of "stop thinking about what you have to do later" and "stay in the moment." Tony, who I am so used to being loud, funny, and maybe just a bit manic - spoke to me from my pc screen in a quiet, soothing, gentle voice - a voice that I'm not used to hearing from him.  And although the next 90 minutes were difficult - they were smooth, slow, calm, and quiet. At the end, my stress and panic were a distant memory. I felt utterly serene and ready to face the rest of the day. P90X gave me what I truly needed today. 

Four days in, and already I am learning to trust to this process. You trust it, too. 

P90X/Day4

About-face: Changing My Mindset

"You need to stop now."  I've had several people tell me that ... and I do appreciate that they think I've made such great progress.  It IS flattering.  But it doesn't really work that way, does it?

Oh, I used to think so.  There was this magic number in my head that I perceived as my goal weight ... at which point I could stop ... done ... finis ... end of story.  How naive I was - and I'm literally rolling my eyes as I say this.

The road to health and fitness never ends. It's not about what you will find at the end of the journey.  It only ends when we leave this life.  It's about what you learn about yourself and find in yourself along the way.  Growth is a neverending process ... physical, mental, spiritual, intellectual. To blithely say, "I'm done - I can stop now" means you haven't "gotten the message" yet.

Changing my mindset has been hard - very hard.  With knowledge comes change and wisdom and maturity. That's why I have had to wrap my brain around the fact that this journey doesn't stop.  I have found an eating plan and a fitness plan that I can live with ... LIVE WITH.  And that's the point, isn't it?  Death and/or disability may overtake me at some point ... but until that day comes, I LIVE!  I fight with a smile on my face knowing that I am doing something good and lasting for myself.  And maybe, just maybe I can encourage a few people along the way.  What better legacy can you leave behind you than that?

Changing my mindset has turned into a complete "about-face" for me.  About-face - yet another reminder that I am looking and moving forward - never back. Never back.

P90X/Day3

Just Keep Moving

Apprehension? Trepidation? I think I was actually facing my first day of P90x with nervous anticipation. Not the bad kinda nervous, mind you. More like the case of butterflies you get in your tummy when you know something exciting is about it happen. And it did.

I made up my mind at the outset to not worry about keeping up or executing each move perfectly. Power 90 and P90 Master Series taught me about listening to my body, knowing when to step back a little, and most of all, MODIFYING! When I first began this journey 7 months ago, I couldn't even launch my hefty hiney up off the floor to do a simple jumping jack. So I modified. The primary thought in my brain throughout has been to "just keep moving." Well, secondary to "just press play, that is." Oh, and I'll add a third: "laugh at yourself."

"Just keep moving." An excellent mantra for life in general, I think. Because inertia, both the physical and the mental kind, is what got me into this state to begin with. I have learned that what you tell yourself, your entire internal dialogue, will spill over into your physical life and what you make of it - how you execute it.

With "just keep moving" in mind, I confidently launched into my first day of P90x - Cardio Synergistics. Yes, several modifications were necessary. Still, I was completely taken aback by how many of the moves I WAS able to execute perfectly. At one point, I found myself rolling about on the floor, in the midst of the superman/banana moves, going so fast and so clumsily that I was breathless with laughter.

But here's the kicker, the entire point of my little story today. I was hot, sweaty, & breathing hard. Then the thought came that "this feels GOOD!" I happened to glance up at the timer on the dvd counting down the minutes & seconds. I was 6 minutes away from the end. And I was feeling GOOD. I was feeling POWERFUL. At that moment, they were taking a water break and I was bent over laughing & laughing. And then I found myself crying.  Well, laughing and crying. HAPPY TEARS! Don't know quite how to describe what that moment felt like. I was elated, ecstatic. Who was this person who was actually able to do this?  7 months ago, I couldn't do a jumping jack. Today, I can do them ALL and then some. Tomorrow ... well, I've got my hopes set high.

P90X/Day2

First Day Musings

Today, as I begin my first day of P90x, I find myself thinking back ... way back ... to all the painful words, negative experiences, and random circumstances that all played a part in holding me back on my journey to good health.  Many of us here have them, I'm certain.  And why, oh, why did it take this long for my brain to "click on" and tell me that "yes, I can do this?"

Before I go further, let me assure the reader that this isn't going to be a sad lament for all that has or hasn't gone before.  Rather, a positive new mindset.  One that says, "So what if it took you decades to come to this point? Looking back is an utterly pointless pursuit. Moving forward is a wonderful new journey, an exciting, hopeful adventure ... full of expectation." So, I set my face like a flint to the forward, refusing to look backward or think backward any longer.

Today, as I begin my first day of P90x, I make a promise to myself ... a promise to stop mulling over the past.  And another promise ... a promise to live this life out loud with all the energy I can muster.  I'm gonna start right now ... so here goes The Fabulous Lisa Hayes, ready to pop in the first P90X dvd ... ready to "Bring It."

P90X/Day1

Three Days in Iuka MS, Part One

"Iuka is built on the site of a Chickasaw Indian village. The name "Iuka" comes from the name of one of the chieftains of the village." - Wikipedia

I hadn't seen my old pal, Carolyn for a loooong time.  She invited me to come and stay with her in her wee house in Iuka, Mississippi.  I was eager to meet her new (sort of) husband, Frank.  He had a major stroke a few years ago, although he has come quite a long way since then.  Still, he has a few "quirks" ... let me hasten to add that they are the most adorable quirks and when I think of them, they still make me smile, some two weeks after my visit.  


Curiously, Frank's brain thinks more in images than in complete sentences, so you have to play this "fill in the blank" game with him.  A typical conversation with Frank goes something like this (and you have to imagine each word spoken with great emphasis) ... Frank:  "Work!  Boilermaker!  Talented!  Exercise!  Work!  Money!"  Carolyn interprets:  "Yes, honey.  You are an extremely talented boilermaker and if you keep doing all your exercises, you will get well enough to go back to work and make lots of money!"  Frank, nodding emphatically:  "Yessir!  Yessir!"  He says "yessir" to everyone, man, woman, or child.


This first morning there, I walked into the living room in my shorty nightshirt.  Apparently too much leg was showing.  "OHHHH, NOOOO!!! DON'T LOOK!!! NEKKID!!!" Frank yelled, his good hand covering his eyes.  I'm still laughing over that one.


Frank is a bit Obsessive-Compulsive.  Carolyn is not sure whether he was always that way and he just hid it real well or if it's just what he has to do to cut down on his own confusion.  At any rate, EVERYTHING must be in its proper place at all times.  If he goes looking for something and it isn't where it's supposed to be, he is not a happy camper.  I didn't realize all this at first.  On my first night there, I went looking for a blanket after everyone had gone to bed and found one near his chair in the living room.  So I took into the guest bed room and covered up with it.  Nighty-night!  Not good.  Unbeknownst to me, Frank gets up early (4:30), makes coffee, and sits in his recliner under his blanket to watch t.v.  Oops!  No blanket.  It wasn't that he minded sharing his blanket, but it bothered him no end not being able to figure out what he had done with it.  Everything.Must.Be.In.Its.Place.  Period.  When Carolyn and I got up that morning, we were met with the query, "Uh ... BLANKET?!"  Wasn't hard to fill in the blanks on that one.


Each morning, Frank very sweetly made me coffee ... but if I left the room even for a moment, I would come back and the coffee would be gone.  Okay, I see how it works now ... dishes gotta be washed and dried IMMEDIATELY.  That first morning I had to tell him that I was a slow drinker and I promised to tell him when I was really, really finished.  He nodded and replied, "Yessir!"  Funny thing, though.  Every time I glanced over at him, I could see him repeatedly checking out my coffee cup from the corner of his eye to see if it was empty yet. Frankly, I was afraid to ask for another cup.  Didn't wanna mess up the regular program too much, ya know!


At one point, I left my cell phone on an end table.  I walked back into the room just in time to see him picking it up and taking it into the kitchen.  I followed him just to see what he would do with it.  He put it on top of the stove.  Actually, this sorta made sense because on the wall next to the stove was a key ring rack.  When he turned around and saw me, he said, "PHONE ... KEYS ... GO ... DOOR!"  Made sense to me.  When you get ready to leave, your phone and your keys will be right here together by the door.  I said as much to him, just to make sure I was getting it right.  "Yessir, yessir.!"  Hey, I was actually starting to get the hang of this.  Simple really ... just fill in the blanks and don't leave anything laying around.  I must say, Frank's fastidiousness has paid off for Carolyn.  He cleans like a demon.  "THERAPY,"  he says.  Their house is spotless ... I mean spic and span!  Leaving Carolyn time to pursue her art, which at the time of this writing is quilting.  Beautiful work, I hafta say.  Wish I'd thought to take a photo of it.

Carolyn has recently lost quite a bit of weight.  Knowing this, I brought her some clothes that I was no longer wearing.  Most of you know by now that my closet is full to bursting with "diva" garments.  Sparkle, glitter, fringe, feathers, etc.  Carolyn is a bit more conservative than I am, but I figure all women have a little diva in them, so I encouraged her to try them on anyway.  She finally settled on something to wear on our outing that day and went into the living room to show Frank.  "What do you think?" she asked.  "LOUD!" he replied.  Oh, well ... chuckle.


And what does any of this have to do with jewelry design?
Stay tuned for Iuka MS, Part Two.






  

What My Daddy Told Me ...

Did I ever tell you that I was painfully shy when I was a child? Daddy was always trying to bring me out of my shell. He told me I was smart, he told me I was sweet, he told me I was funny, he told me I was beautiful. He told me again and again to just get out there and be myself - that I was absolutely wonderful and that people would like me just as I was. Still, for a long, long time I had such difficulty getting out there and making new friends. You wouldn't know it to look at me now, but I was terrified to speak up or do anything even just the slightest bit overt for fear of calling attention to myself.

Now, of course, you can't shut me up and, to be quite frank, I now find that attention is a good thing! Shy? Me? Never!! I have my Daddy thank to for that.


An old friend of Daddy's (and now mine) reminded me today that I was always the apple of Daddy's eye and that he adored me completely.  Mama has told me time and time again that he was the best father a little girl could have wished for.  I believe her.  He spoiled me absolutely rotten!

Odd then, that when Mama first learned she was pregnant, he was so angry.  I have always believed that there was a lot of fear underneath all that anger.  They had only been married a short time.  They were young and had very little money. But after a time, Daddy grew accustomed to the idea of being a father and became quite excited at the prospect.  After a run of bad luck in his life, he was certain that God was going to bless him with a son.  Yes, he was DEFINITELY going to have a boy.  A boy to play ball with, fish with, do guy stuff with.  A son to carry on his name, to continue his legacy.



Back then, there wasn't testing available to determine the sex of an unborn child (I'm just a little horrified that this will likely give you some idea of my age).  On the day of my birth, the nurse came out and told him that he had a little girl.  He was furious!  And that made the nurse furious ... she said, "Mr. Dutton, if you don't want her, I will gladly take her home with me!" Needless to say, my mother was terribly hurt and upset.  When Daddy finally came into the room, Mama said, "Do you want to hold her?"  With an exasperated sigh, he said nothing, just flung his arms out.  The nurse placed me in his outstretched arms. Mama found it quite disconcerting that she suddenly seemed to have disappeared - he only had eyes for me.  She told me that from that moment on, I had him wrapped around my wee little finger.

Did I mention that Daddy was a photographer?  He took lots and lots of photos of me.  I tended to be quite the serious child, but he did managed to make me laugh every now and then.

I lost Daddy in a tragic accident many years ago.  I was sixteen years old.  My memories of him are still so vivid.  In looking back, I can now see how he made his life all about me.  Every place he took me was designed to teach me something, help me grow, make me happy, and ultimately make me a better person.  He went back to college ... not just to help himself attain a better job, but to give me a better life.  And going back to college was very, very difficult for him because he was deaf.  Just a few weeks after his death, his master's degree came in the mail.  The year that he died, he had been elected to the office of President of the Alabama Association for the Deaf.  I was soooo proud of him and over the years have wondered if, where he is, he is able to see me, have some awareness of me and my life, and have I given him cause to be proud of me?

A friend who came to church to hear me sing some years back told me, "Lisa, if your Daddy was sitting right here in this pew, his heart would be so big and full of joy and pride and love, there would be no room for anyone to sit there with him."  I asked her, "Do you think he can hear me?"  She replied, "Absolutely!"   I never forgot that.  Because, yes, I believe in heaven and I believe that he is there.  I believe that I will see him again.  And for no other reason than I have a gut feeling about this, I believe that love is so powerful and transcendent that somehow the good stuff filters through between here and there.

And all this brings me to an amazing thing that happened to me recently.  I find myself pondering it, turning it over and over in my mind like an especially treasured gift ... especially today.  This past February on Valentine's Day, John (my husband) was taking me out on a date.  If you only knew how rarely this occurs, you would understand how utterly thrilled I was. And not just any date. No! We were in the car on our way to the historic Alabama Theatre to see Casablanca.  John always gives me the most wonderful cards on these special occasions.  It set me to thinking about the handful of cards from my Daddy that my mother saved up for me.  I have them stashed away in a box.  Sometimes I have the overwhelming urge to take them down and look through them.  They always make me smile.   They made me smile today.

Anyway, I told John that on Valentine's Day, I would always get a card from Daddy that would invariably begin or end with "To the Sweetest Little Girl in All the World."  I said to John, "You know, I can't help but wonder if he ever thinks of me or misses me even now."  I confess, I like to think so.  Oh, I hope so.

A few days later, I was spending the night at Mama's. Oddly, she and my stepfather decided to sleep in the guest room and put me in their master bedroom.  I had such a hard time getting to sleep that night and found myself wandering around looking for a book to read.  Now, I'm not one to snoop through Mama's things, but I found my eye drawn to a decorative little box sitting on her dresser.  It was a pasteboard box that I had decoupaged and decorated for her as a gift for Mother's Day some years before.  I thought to myself, "I wonder if she is keeping any of the jewelry I have given her in there."  I opened the box and peeked inside.  There was one sheet of half-folded stationery in there and I could see my Daddy's distinctive writing on it.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I reverently lifted the sheet out of the box and opened it up.  It was a letter that he had written to me when he was away at school.  I was five years old.  Here's how it began:

"Dear little Lisa,   It has been a long time since I have seen you but I have not forgotten you.  I think of you everyday and miss you very much."

There.  I had my answer.
I guess miracles do happen.

I miss you, too, Daddy.
Happy Father's Day.

And just what does this all have to do with jewelry, fashion, and all things Diva? Only this.  At the bottom of the letter, Daddy writes, "I am going to send you a pretty pocketbook so you will have something nice to take to church Easter."

Luv & Diva Hugs to All ... Lisa