Glory Rising

"Just a pile of uncut stones, but there's glory rising.

You put them there, one by one, and they're beautiful.

Just a picture of my soul, where there's glory rising.

Rough and strong and vulnerable ... it's beautiful."

... lyrics from one of my favorite songs by Margaret Becker. 

Yes, there's a relevant point. Bear with me here.

Someone asked me to tell a story about my favorite hobbies and activities. Until recently, designing and creating jewelry was my driving passion. My art has been placed on the back burner fo a bit. With God's help, P90X, and my own iron determination, something entirely new is being crafted.

I love rocks and stones and fossils and minerals and shells and odd bits of bone and wood. I use them all in my jewelry designs. I like a piece that's a bit odd and off-kilter and unexpected. I look at these bits and pieces of the earth and I'm amazed. I don't want to cut them, smooth tem, or polish them in any way. In a strange way, they have already been altered by time and circumstance. Their very existence is a result of our earth evolving and changing. I think they're beautiful just as they are ... just as God, time, and the entire rolling force of the universe slowly created and refined them.

I used to make jewelry from perfectly cut and polished little pendants and beads and other elements. In time, though, the fascination they once held for me began to wane. In time, I doscovered rock shops and gem/mineral shows. I even discovered wonderful, unexpected little pieces just lying there on the ground during my walks. I saw how utterly beautiful these stones and fossils and bones were in their more natural state. I was awed. A crooked, assymetrical piece that someone else might just walk right by, commanded my undivided attention. It may be crooked, but look at the sparkling crystal structure. It may be asymmetrical, but I see a heart shape there. Pieces with heart and little glimpses of glory. The more bent, twisted, crooked, curved, broken, and odd they are, the better I find I love them. Kinda like people whose flaws only serve to make them more compelling.

So, I look at these pieces and meditate on them until inspiration strikes ... and it always does. I look at them until I know what sort of wearable art this piece will become.

And now I've come full circle to the lyrics quoted above ... and I'm reminded of how far I've come. I'm reminded of how time, dedication, commitment, sweat, and patience can result in a changed in life ... a changed person. The lyricist isn't just speaking of rocks and stones. She is speaking of me ... of my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul. Of how God, and P90X, and my own iron determination is molding me, refining me, strengthening me, and changing me. I know that I won't be perfectly smooth and symmetrical ... rather a bit rough and odd and off-kilter and unexpected, but utterly ME ... and I'm okay with that.

A long process, but I am content with who I am in this moment because I am starting to understand all that I am capable of becoming. And I'm content to await the final result ... because I know that it will be beautiful and there will be glory rising. "Rough and strong and vulnerable and beautiful."

P90X/Day18

Changes, Part II

There are these bony protuberances between my neck and chest. Clavicles, you say? That sounds so foreign to me. I mean, I KNOW what they are. But I never saw them before. I told my doctor that I was pretty sure there was a lump underneath my left breast. His response: "I'm pretty sure that's a RIB, Lisa." Oh ... heh-heh ... ahem. Despite the fact that there's some loose skin on my tummy from all the weight loss, I can actually see dents there ... an emerging four-pack!! Good Lord. So many changes.

When John used to pull me onto his lap, my first question was always, "Am I too heavy?" He always said, "No." I was all soft and cushy and comfy to him. Feeling a little amorous the other day, i sat on his lap and leaned in for a kiss. "Ow!" he said. "What?" I queried. "You're gonna hafta move ... I can feel your butt-bones digging into my legs!"  Whoopsie! I am secretly pleased.

I see recent photos of myself and I am looking at a jawline that never existed before now. There's also a bit of loose skin underneath where my double/triple chin used to be ... urgh! A few lines around my mouth where all used to be smooth and plump with excess flesh. Well, never mind that. I have learned that if I smile real, real big, you can't see the lines and/or loose skin. And what's not to smile about? Sure, there are a few flaws ... but they are marks of victory for me.  I have EARNED them. I have made up my mind to be PROUD of them. Know why? Because underneath it all, there are firm, strong muscles emerging where once there was only fat. And just as important, inside my head there lives a firm resolve where once there was only depression and despair. Evidence of all my hard work ... evidence of positive, ongoing change.

A friend of mine asked me, "Where did Lisa go?" I told her that my liquefying fat cells were now polluting the air around us! Haha. Changes ...

Many of you know that I am currently helping to take care of a friend of mine who has recently become disabled. She doesn't get to get out and have fun much, so last week, I got her out in her wheelchair to take her to a movie. As soon as the credits finished rolling, she said she needed to go to the Ladies' room. I wheeled her out of the theater and found myself RUNNING her wheelchair down the hallway. She was laughing hysterically ... people were watching us. They were laughing, too. So was I.

Seven months ago, I could barely walk without breathing heavily. I could barely walk to the end of my road. I could barely face the day. Now I can do all those things ... not walking ... RUNNING! Not despairing ... LAUGHING! Not existing ... LIVING! In my mind, it all feels like flying.

Right at this moment, CHANGE is feeling like a very, very good thing.

P90X/Day15

Screaming Like A Banshee

Shy? Moi? Never!

I can say that now ... but it wasn't always true. I can remember a time when I felt insecure, introverted, and fearful. Fearful of calling attention to myself. Fearful of having to hear comments and advice about my weight. How can a reasonably intelligent woman be so utterly incapable of doing what was necessary to change my path? Along with all the extra weight I was carrying came a lot of negativity ... mostly self-directed.  Even then, I knew that those pounds had very little to do with who I really was and yet I still insulated myself from the world.  Too many well-meant words from friends and family ... words meant to help.  Words that hurt just the same.  Because I felt powerless to change myself.  So I shut myself inside as much as possible ... unless necessity drove me outside.  I went to work, I made/kept appointments, I shopped for groceries.  Just the necessities.  But I avoided social situations, family reunions, weddings, friends' parties & get-togethers.  When I just HAD to go out, my head was down, my arms held close to my body, my steps small and hesitant, my attitude passive.  Anything to avoid calling attention to myself.  At 300 lbs, I was becoming reclusive.  And this SO was not me ... not who I really was inside ... not by a long shot.

Thankfully, this deplorable state of being didn't last for too many years.  I remember having one of those little epiphanies that began to slowly turn my thinking around.  One day I realized, "I'm not having fun here.  I'm not enjoying my life."  So many things I once took pleasure in that made me happy ... that gave my life meaning and purpose.  Singing and music.  Going to church.  Dancing.  Laughing.  Time with my zany friends ... and if I let myself, I could be the zaniest.  Well, hey, if I let myself, I actually COULD have some fun in life.  My friends kept calling and inviting me out.  My family wanted to see me laughing and happy again.  I made up my mind that I would begin living OUTWARD.  Fat or no ... I would throw my arms out wide and embrace life ... and pretty soon, life began to embrace me back.

I began to let myself go a little.  Relax a bit into who I really was.  I looked into the faces of my friends and family.  They were enjoying me as much as I was enjoying them.  I remember thinking, "If only I could keep up with them."  I was still SO tired and lethargic.  My personality had energy, but sadly, not my body.  A handful of life-changing events unfolded from this point. A car accident and a badly broken arm.  A falling off my deck accident and a badly broken ankle/leg.  Time spent in a wheelchair.  A thyroid condition ... and new medication.  All of these events culminating in learning something new about myself ... about life.  A slow unfolding of a new sense of the rightness of life's progression. Even seemingly negative circumstances that ultimately brought new knowledge and wisdom.  I found out what I was actually capable of.  I was forced by circumstance to change, to grow, to overcome.  My old insecurity, introversion, and fear slowly receded and left me.  In their place was a new person.  The new me was confident, extraverted, and unafraid.

I remember a friend telling me, "You're the bravest person I know."  What?  When did that happen?  But it was true.  I look back and think to myself, "Who was that passive person?  She bears so little resemblence to me."  I guess the point I want to make here is that if we could just learn to relax into ourselves, relax into life, and just meet everything life brings with calm, aplomb, and confidence ... so much growth and change and even success can happen.

These days, I'm loud, a little wild, a lot crazy (the good kinda crazy).  I sing out and don't care who sees or hears me.  I throw my arms out wide and make dramatic entrances.  I smile, I laugh, I LIVE!

All this contemplation brings me to my experience with Kenpo X last night.  This marks the end of my second week on P90X and my second time to do Kenpo X.  Have I said before that I absolutely freaking LOVE Kenpo X?  All those kicks and punches ... all that yelling and intensity and sweat.  It makes me feel unaccountably POWERFUL and STRONG and CONFIDENT and ALIVE!  I told my husband, John, at the end of the workout that I would truly feel sorry for anyone who tried to mess with me.  Because this workout makes me feel so AGGRESSIVE that I actually do think i could beat the crap outta someone if I had to.  Okay, maybe I'm just a little overconfident here ... but I'm absolutely certain that I could put a big ol' hurt on someone if I had to defend myself.  John responded with, "Well, I wouldn't wanna mess with you!"

Yep, if you don't wanna have me all up in your face, punching and kicking and SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE ... keep back!  Danger!  Danger!  Hahaha!!

Pursuing good health, nutrition, and fitness is a completely transformative experience.  The more you give to the process, the more you get back.  The road ahead may seem like a long, almost unattainable one.  But a single step taken in the right direction ... one day at a time is key.  I continue to be amazed and astounded at how rapidly my wonderful new life is unfolding.  You are looking at a happy, fearless, new evolving person.  And that brave new person is ME!

P90X/DAY14

The Bright Side

This morning, my post on Facebook said that I was ready to "MAKE THE DAY - not just face it. Because just facing it is what I did for such a long, long time. Great big chunks of my life given over to just trying to get through, get by, get done. There was some joy and happiness and smiles along the way. I am very good at putting on a happy face even when I am frowning slightly on the inside. I put a lot of effort into trying to see the bright side. Even when I was tired out, dragged down, and worn out. From doing what exactly? Not very much as it turns out. Someone once told me that energy begets energy. In other words, the more energy (however little that may be at first) that you put into something, the more your energy grows and expands ... hence, the better you will become at that something.

So today the day after Thanksgiving, I am contemplating The Bright Side. Yesterday was an extremely busy but absolutely wonderful day, filled with laugther, hugs, and the people I love most. Near the end of my day, I received an incredible, unexpected gift. A chance meeting with a dear, dear friend that I hadn't seen in decades. The absolute crown to my day! I went to sleep last night exhausted but with a huge smile on my face and a happy, happy heart. So why did I wake up feeling just a litle deflated this morning?  Okay, okay ... very normal to feel this way after a long, tiring day. The excitement has dampened down a bit and I'm back to the normal grind. WAIT! Back to the grind? Stop it, Lisa, just stop it. You have grown way beyond just "facing the day." Every new dawn brings an unprecedented opportunity to "MAKE THE DAY!" From that moment, my resolution this morning became to "Make the Day" and one way of doing that was to take every circumstance that came my way and look at The Bright Side.

Popped in today's P90X dvd ... Chest & Back. I thought to myself, "Man, after yesterday, I am really too tired for this." First thing I noticed was that Eric looks SO MUCH like Keith Urban. Really made me smile 'cause I just LOVE Keith Urban. So I'm thinking ... cool, I get to look at this really fit dude working out with me today. The Bright Side.

Next, I'm really starting to work up a sweat, but I'm getting a little tense and aggravated because I still want to execute every move PERFECTLY. I have balance issues and have to have a chair nearby for all those exercises where you have to lean over standing on one foot. I can't do a pull-up/chin-up ... gotta use the bands. I can't get all the way through Ab Ripper X without pausing here and there. WAIT! Where's The Bright Side? ... lemme see ... hmmmm ... lemme think.

I hear Tony saying, "Do your best and forget the rest." Well, I give myself a little pat on the back, because ya know what? I AM doing my best. It's not perfect, but it's awful danged good, let me tell you! The Bright Side.

Seven+ months ago, there were so many moves I couldnt' do and now I CAN. I know that my hard work and patience will reward me at the end of this 90 days. The past seven+ months have proven that. The Bright Side. When I get to the end of this 90 days and I see what I am able to do at that point, I know that I will surprise myself. I also know that the end of this 90 days is not the end. There will always be another and another. I am beginning ot realize that each day that I strive to "MAKE THE DAY" ... that all these collective days are culminating in making my new life. A life that is already better, brighter, and brimming with promise and new energy.

First you crawl, then walk, then run, then fly. That's the whole growth process ... physical, mental, spiritual. I am already running ... I can't wait to FLY!

P90X/DAY12

Changes, Part I

Seven months ... seven months of changes that I never noticed ... couldn't see ... at first. When I started out on this journey, I was in so much physical pain and mental anguish that the days ahead seemed to stretch out into a vague unknown for me.  "Just stay with it, just stay with it, change will come"  I knew this and I kept telling myself it would happen  It WOULD happen.  But in the beginning, it all seemed so far away.  Each and every day, I dragged my lethargic self up out of the bed and out of the door for my morning walk.  it was absolutely all I could do at first. My back hurt, my hips hurt, my knees hurt. I was almost convinced that by walking, I was doing myself even more damage - the pain was that bad. The strain on my joints felt unbearable at times. I felt like crying ... instead I prayed. "Help me, help me, help me stay with this."

Every day for that first painful month, I prayed. I kept trudging down the road, up the hill, and back again ... looking down at the road, only at the road right in front of me because I couldn't bear to look at the long road, the long climb ahead. One step at a time ... one step at a time. After that first month, I suddenly realized that I didn't hurt so much anymore. I stopped praying for myself and started praying for the people who resided in the homes I passed on my walk. A new exercise in positivity. A new step from inward, self-focused negativity to a more outward positivity. Instead of looking down at the road, I found myself looking up at the day and the beauty around me. Instead of trying to just catch my breath, I was breathing deeply. Breathing in LIFE. I felt I was waking up after a long, dark sleep. I felt good. I suddenly realized that I was no longer "just making it through the day." I was LIVING!

Changes began taking shape. First, the pain abated. Then my outlook changed. Then came the physical changes ... and they continue to come. Changes that I NEVER thought I'd see. Once the whole change process started (and it was really from day one - I just couldn't see it then), it was like a rapid domino effect. Once change gave birth to another. The road ahead didn't seem so long and vauge to me any longer. How can I convey what this feels like? I don't know that I can.

When you see before & after photos of people who have achieved success, it's always so amazing to see what their body was before and through HARD WORK, what it has now become. What you don't see in the photos is all the amazing, incredible, and unexpected changes on the inside. A whole new outlook, a whole new world, a whole new life. A life that is no longer a dreaded thing that you have to drag yourself through, but an incredible new thing, where you just can't wait to meet the next adventure around the corner.

Today, I have an extremely heavy schedule. It's gonna be a huge challenge to get it all done ... but I find that I'm actually looking forward to it. These past seven months have shown me that I actually enjoy a challenge. These past seven months have shown me that I can meet a new challenge head-on with a sense of anticipation and with a great big smile on my face.

Here's to changes!

P90X/DAY10

Sweat ... But Don't Sweat It!

"I don't care if you can't do it perfectly ... I just care if you try!"  Yes, that's what Tony said to me as I was doing Day 8 - Core Synergistics.  He said it just in time, too.

Since this is only my second week, I am still unable to do some of the moves.  Let me rephrase that ... I am unable to do some of the moves as PERFECTLY as I long to.  Halfway through the dvd, I find myself on the floor on all fours, looking up at the t.v. sceen and watching these perfectly muscled individuals RUNNING IN PLANK POSITION.  Next thing I know, they're scrambling across the floor, "walking" on their hands & feet - again in PLANK POSITION. Seriously, people?  What the heck, I'll give it a go ... and immediately felt the tension building in both my mind and my neck and hearing my traitorous brain whisper, "You can't do this." "Shut UP!" I silently scream back.  I'm preaching "no negativity" here ... how am I gonna get through these moves with this devil on my shoulder spouting all this negativity?  Where's my angel?  I need him NOW!

At that moment, I hear Tony telling me, "I don't care if you can't do it pefectly ... I just care if you TRY!"  Oh, okay ... I can DO that.  I'm in plank position, there's a whole lotta butt-rise, and here I go, scrabbling madly across the floor like some kind of big ol' bug, laughing like a maniac (I'm convinced that laughter is an absolutely WONDERFUL core exercise) ... 'cause I know that I look crazy with my booty high in the air, arms & legs flailing about.  Well, I think to myself, I must be doing SOMEthing right.  'Cause all of a sudden, I had to fling my glasses off ... couldn't see a thing outta my right eye.  Know why?  There were huge drops of sweat pooling inside the right lens.  When I took them off, I had to look down because my hand landed in something wet and slick on the floor ... my own sweat.  A lot of it.  Inside my head, I begin to relax.  I may not be doing it perfectly, but I'm doing it.  Something incredible is happening here.  Not only is my body changing, but my mind is changing, too.

Funny to me how Tony manages to say just what I need to hear, just when I need to hear it. This has happened time and time again over the past eight days.  There's no magic here.  There's only grunting, teeth-grinding, sweating effort.  I'm learning ... I'm learning that there's no need or point in me telling myself "you can't do this."  If I could do everything perfectly, I would be ready to move on to a harder, more challenging program, right?  I'm beginning to see that the difficulty of every moment of every move IS the point.  It's hard ... and it's working because it's hard.  And just getting through it, even when you have to modify, is a tremendous accomplishment.

While my body is working hard, I want my brain to relax into each moment and movement. Sweat, but don't sweat it - another good mantra for this whole process, I think.  I have flicked the devil of negativity off my shoulder.  He has been replaced by my angel of positivity. Thanks, Tony Horton :)

P90X/DAY9

Dashing Through My Day

"Are you okay?"  "You need to sit down and rest."  "I'm worried about you."  I am hearing these comments more and more.  Know why?  Because I am literally DASHING THROUGH MY DAY! Where is all this boundless energy coming from?  Well, I bet you can see where I'm going with this.

Let me tell you what a typical day used to be like for me.  Upon waking, I would continue to lie in bed like a big slug, unwilling (both physically & mentally) to face the day ahead.  Drag myself up, make coffee - instant - because I didn't have the will or the energy or the patience to set up the coffee maker and wait.  Put on my fuzzy robe, curl up in my fuzzy chair, blink my fuzzy eyes stupidly over my coffee, and pray that soon my fuzzy brain would wake up.  And it would take at least an hour for me to come the point that I could have a coherent thought.  Don't try to talk to me ...talk to the hand!  EVERY morning was so hard to face and it took SUCH a long time for me to be able to face it.  I LOVED Saturdays, not for the right reasons, though.  I loved Saturday because it was the one day where I could just lay there, sleep late, and not have to face it.

I have been doing some type of BB exercise program for the past seven months.  At 225.5 lbs, I began doing Power 90, then Power 90 Master Series, and now P90X.  I am now at 168 lbs. With P90X, I have also begun taking Activit, Shakeology, and Results & Recovery drink - I've been on them for one week.  In the past, I have taken so-called miracle supplements that NEVER lived up to their name.  Time wasted, money down the drain. By the end of this week, my mornings have UTTERLY changed.

Today, SATURDAY, no less ... I woke up before my alarm went off.  My brain already buzzing with great big Saturday plans. Coffee? Didn't need it. Put my robe on and walked the dog (my husband always walks the dog, 'cause I'm still in bed).  I am actually looking forward to attacking my P90x workout in just a few minutes.  I am quite literally ready to bound up and bring it! I find myself looking forward to this day with an incredible sense of anticipation. instead of wasting it in bed or in my fuzzy chair, I am sitting here mulling over this glorious thought ... "How much fun can I pack into this one day?" With all this incredible new energy ... the possibilities are mind-boggling! 

P90X/Day6 

Stressbustin'

Ever heard that expression, "hit the ground running?" Sure, you have. Today was one of those days. An early appointment, so early there was no way to get my P90X in first - and I ALWAYS make it happen first. Not today. I slept through my alarm, didn't have time for coffee (whoopsie - it's supposed to be green tea now, right?), couldn't catch the dog for the vet appointment (how do they know?), and then received an unexpected semi-emergency e-mail. I could feel the stress building and all that nasty cortisol begin filling my cells & bloodstream (or whatever it is that cortisol does to one). I admit ... a little panic was starting to set in.

Okay, okay ... first things first - answer the email, shift the schedule a bit, get the dog to the vet, come back home, pop the P90X dvd in. Urgh! Do I really have time for this today? And of course, I remembered my promise to myself - I am COMMITTED to this program for 90 days. It's my PRIORITY. Yes the day will bring many things that MUST be done, but must they really be done first? I had no idea what was Tony Horton was gonna have me doing today, so I looked at the P90X Lean schedule and here's what I saw ... YOGA X.  

First thing Tony said that really sunk in was "clear your mind" and something along the lines of "stop thinking about what you have to do later" and "stay in the moment." Tony, who I am so used to being loud, funny, and maybe just a bit manic - spoke to me from my pc screen in a quiet, soothing, gentle voice - a voice that I'm not used to hearing from him.  And although the next 90 minutes were difficult - they were smooth, slow, calm, and quiet. At the end, my stress and panic were a distant memory. I felt utterly serene and ready to face the rest of the day. P90X gave me what I truly needed today. 

Four days in, and already I am learning to trust to this process. You trust it, too. 

P90X/Day4

About-face: Changing My Mindset

"You need to stop now."  I've had several people tell me that ... and I do appreciate that they think I've made such great progress.  It IS flattering.  But it doesn't really work that way, does it?

Oh, I used to think so.  There was this magic number in my head that I perceived as my goal weight ... at which point I could stop ... done ... finis ... end of story.  How naive I was - and I'm literally rolling my eyes as I say this.

The road to health and fitness never ends. It's not about what you will find at the end of the journey.  It only ends when we leave this life.  It's about what you learn about yourself and find in yourself along the way.  Growth is a neverending process ... physical, mental, spiritual, intellectual. To blithely say, "I'm done - I can stop now" means you haven't "gotten the message" yet.

Changing my mindset has been hard - very hard.  With knowledge comes change and wisdom and maturity. That's why I have had to wrap my brain around the fact that this journey doesn't stop.  I have found an eating plan and a fitness plan that I can live with ... LIVE WITH.  And that's the point, isn't it?  Death and/or disability may overtake me at some point ... but until that day comes, I LIVE!  I fight with a smile on my face knowing that I am doing something good and lasting for myself.  And maybe, just maybe I can encourage a few people along the way.  What better legacy can you leave behind you than that?

Changing my mindset has turned into a complete "about-face" for me.  About-face - yet another reminder that I am looking and moving forward - never back. Never back.

P90X/Day3

Just Keep Moving

Apprehension? Trepidation? I think I was actually facing my first day of P90x with nervous anticipation. Not the bad kinda nervous, mind you. More like the case of butterflies you get in your tummy when you know something exciting is about it happen. And it did.

I made up my mind at the outset to not worry about keeping up or executing each move perfectly. Power 90 and P90 Master Series taught me about listening to my body, knowing when to step back a little, and most of all, MODIFYING! When I first began this journey 7 months ago, I couldn't even launch my hefty hiney up off the floor to do a simple jumping jack. So I modified. The primary thought in my brain throughout has been to "just keep moving." Well, secondary to "just press play, that is." Oh, and I'll add a third: "laugh at yourself."

"Just keep moving." An excellent mantra for life in general, I think. Because inertia, both the physical and the mental kind, is what got me into this state to begin with. I have learned that what you tell yourself, your entire internal dialogue, will spill over into your physical life and what you make of it - how you execute it.

With "just keep moving" in mind, I confidently launched into my first day of P90x - Cardio Synergistics. Yes, several modifications were necessary. Still, I was completely taken aback by how many of the moves I WAS able to execute perfectly. At one point, I found myself rolling about on the floor, in the midst of the superman/banana moves, going so fast and so clumsily that I was breathless with laughter.

But here's the kicker, the entire point of my little story today. I was hot, sweaty, & breathing hard. Then the thought came that "this feels GOOD!" I happened to glance up at the timer on the dvd counting down the minutes & seconds. I was 6 minutes away from the end. And I was feeling GOOD. I was feeling POWERFUL. At that moment, they were taking a water break and I was bent over laughing & laughing. And then I found myself crying.  Well, laughing and crying. HAPPY TEARS! Don't know quite how to describe what that moment felt like. I was elated, ecstatic. Who was this person who was actually able to do this?  7 months ago, I couldn't do a jumping jack. Today, I can do them ALL and then some. Tomorrow ... well, I've got my hopes set high.

P90X/Day2

First Day Musings

Today, as I begin my first day of P90x, I find myself thinking back ... way back ... to all the painful words, negative experiences, and random circumstances that all played a part in holding me back on my journey to good health.  Many of us here have them, I'm certain.  And why, oh, why did it take this long for my brain to "click on" and tell me that "yes, I can do this?"

Before I go further, let me assure the reader that this isn't going to be a sad lament for all that has or hasn't gone before.  Rather, a positive new mindset.  One that says, "So what if it took you decades to come to this point? Looking back is an utterly pointless pursuit. Moving forward is a wonderful new journey, an exciting, hopeful adventure ... full of expectation." So, I set my face like a flint to the forward, refusing to look backward or think backward any longer.

Today, as I begin my first day of P90x, I make a promise to myself ... a promise to stop mulling over the past.  And another promise ... a promise to live this life out loud with all the energy I can muster.  I'm gonna start right now ... so here goes The Fabulous Lisa Hayes, ready to pop in the first P90X dvd ... ready to "Bring It."

P90X/Day1