Changes, Part I

Seven months ... seven months of changes that I never noticed ... couldn't see ... at first. When I started out on this journey, I was in so much physical pain and mental anguish that the days ahead seemed to stretch out into a vague unknown for me.  "Just stay with it, just stay with it, change will come"  I knew this and I kept telling myself it would happen  It WOULD happen.  But in the beginning, it all seemed so far away.  Each and every day, I dragged my lethargic self up out of the bed and out of the door for my morning walk.  it was absolutely all I could do at first. My back hurt, my hips hurt, my knees hurt. I was almost convinced that by walking, I was doing myself even more damage - the pain was that bad. The strain on my joints felt unbearable at times. I felt like crying ... instead I prayed. "Help me, help me, help me stay with this."

Every day for that first painful month, I prayed. I kept trudging down the road, up the hill, and back again ... looking down at the road, only at the road right in front of me because I couldn't bear to look at the long road, the long climb ahead. One step at a time ... one step at a time. After that first month, I suddenly realized that I didn't hurt so much anymore. I stopped praying for myself and started praying for the people who resided in the homes I passed on my walk. A new exercise in positivity. A new step from inward, self-focused negativity to a more outward positivity. Instead of looking down at the road, I found myself looking up at the day and the beauty around me. Instead of trying to just catch my breath, I was breathing deeply. Breathing in LIFE. I felt I was waking up after a long, dark sleep. I felt good. I suddenly realized that I was no longer "just making it through the day." I was LIVING!

Changes began taking shape. First, the pain abated. Then my outlook changed. Then came the physical changes ... and they continue to come. Changes that I NEVER thought I'd see. Once the whole change process started (and it was really from day one - I just couldn't see it then), it was like a rapid domino effect. Once change gave birth to another. The road ahead didn't seem so long and vauge to me any longer. How can I convey what this feels like? I don't know that I can.

When you see before & after photos of people who have achieved success, it's always so amazing to see what their body was before and through HARD WORK, what it has now become. What you don't see in the photos is all the amazing, incredible, and unexpected changes on the inside. A whole new outlook, a whole new world, a whole new life. A life that is no longer a dreaded thing that you have to drag yourself through, but an incredible new thing, where you just can't wait to meet the next adventure around the corner.

Today, I have an extremely heavy schedule. It's gonna be a huge challenge to get it all done ... but I find that I'm actually looking forward to it. These past seven months have shown me that I actually enjoy a challenge. These past seven months have shown me that I can meet a new challenge head-on with a sense of anticipation and with a great big smile on my face.

Here's to changes!

P90X/DAY10